We are human and often when we are under pressure or on autopilot and too bust to step back to make decisions. We can wrong choices or mistakes. But…
We all make mistakes. Mistakes are key to our learning and personal growth, however sometimes we find it hard to move on from decisions that we may have made in the past
These feelings may be in relation to:
- how we may have hurt someone else
- a decision you may have made that you now think was the wrong one or doesn’t fit with your values
- something you regret doing or not doing
- not spending time with your children, Other half, family or friends
- a secret you may be harbouring
- giving yourself some time for self care
- thoughts you believe you shouldn’t have
If you’re currently being tough on yourself for something you feel guilty about. Have a go at these steps. It’s not a great position to be in when our guilt holds us back.
Step One : Get it out of your head
Write down or talk out loud why you feel guilty …
E.g. I feel guilty because….
I have feelings of regret because…..
Step Two : What feelings do you have?
Write down what feelings you have about the guilt or regret e.g I feel angry , I feel so disappointed that I made that decision
Step Three :The where and why
Where does the guilt come from and why do you feel the way you do?
Step Four : Can you apologise or make steps to show remorse?
Think about if you can or need to apologise, show remorse and ask for forgiveness.
If you don’t feel you can apologise directly, try writing a letter or journaling it instead.
You may also owe yourself an apology too, and you could write one to yourself – remember we are human and not perfect and so mistakes are all part of our learning.
Reflecting on how we act and forgiving ourselves can help us to take better action in the future
Step Five: Turning it from a negative to a positive
Why did you do what you did?
What things led to you doing what you did?
What would you do differently now?
Is there any self development or changes that you want to make so that you don’t make the same mistake again?
Step Six: Know your reactions
How will you know if you feel better?
How will you know if the feelings of guilt or regret come back?
Step Seven: Turn it around
What would you say to a friend if they were in the same position as you ?
Use guilt as an intuition for your future , it can drive you to have more perspective and to live your life in the way you want to.
Step Eight:Build resilience
Creating a data bank/ file/ journal of the positive things you have done can help you to gain perspective and not to feel guilty for all the things that we may be feeling guilty for.
Regular meditation and journaling can also help, as you can revisit and build on your learnings and emotions but by letting it go you are building your resilience and confidence to make better choices in the future.
When I am writing this blog I have got a number of the people that are involved in the human reboot movement coaching programme in mind who are working on just this.
A few have struggled with feelings of guilt and like other emotions if left to build these feelings can cause blocks in moving forward with life .
Guilt an have power over you, in this negative way, but just as it can do this, it can drive you to make a change or improvement to how you behave or how you want to live your life.
So now you know how you can turn your guilt and regrets into something positive !
If you’d like more support on this you can check out the www.humanrebootmovement.com coaching programme for your self
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