Bernice MacDonald, aka Bernii Mac, is in the music industry. She is a singer-songwriter and now guides new musical artists through the music industry authentically. She tells her story of how she went from a 15-year-old starting out in the music industry, falling into an abusive relationship that led to her making poor decisions for her, to her living with generalised anxiety disorder and to a PTSD diagnosis. Berni talks about her journey, the work she has done on herself and the amazing results and recovery she has found from EMDR ( Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing Therapy). It is uplifting but may be difficult to listen to for some
KEY LEARNS
6:00
“I was making bad decisions and bad choices based on how I felt about myself, I just didn’t have an awareness of it. So I think I was lucky that I have a very stable family and very stable friends that I really trusted. I think when you have a really, really great upbringing, you can always go back to that as ground zero, as it were. At one point, I had quite a lot of mental illness, I guess, in the sense that I really didn’t know who I could trust. But I also, realised at one point in my journey that I really needed counseling, I needed outside help, I needed someone that wasn’t connected to my family, who was really going to listen to what I had to say, and give me an outside perspective that was not emotionally attached. And of course, therapists and counsellors, and anyone along those lines have this amazing training that they’ve gone through. And actually, in terms of overcoming the trauma, I had an amazing therapy called EMDR. light therapy, which I actually now want to train in because it was so good.”
7:38
“I had CBT and I’ve had regular counselling, I’ve even had healings, I’ve had everything. And they played their part. There’s definitely value to them. But I think for me because I did have such a lot of trauma, It was the EMDR therapy that really was game-changing. And the reason it was game-changing is that what it does is it quite literally clears the trauma from your brain so that you have space to grow as a human being.”
10:00
“I went into the session feeling quite anxious, as you mentioned I have anxiety, which is true. I went in there feeling a little bit on edge. And what she said to me was to really connect to that feeling. So rather than run away from that feeling, connect to it, and just be comfortable with it.”
12:14
“She asked “How powerful is your feeling? So it might have been an eight on a scale of one to 10. Then we’d do a round of about a minute of light therapy, the beats in the ears and connecting to the feeling. Then she’d ask “What’s your feeling now?” It might be a six and then we’d try and bring it down to zero. And then this is the fascinating part. She asks you in advance to find three care characters that you can go to, to help you within this scenario. Honestly, when I was looking into this, I was going, this is bonkers, this is not going to work but it was amazing. So Michelle Obama was my nurturing figure, Johnny Cash was my protective figure. And Buddha was my wise figure. And these are things that you plan out before you go in.”
15:00
“It might be someone else’s voice, a parental figure, or an ex-boyfriend or an ex-partner, you know, telling us that we’re not good enough, or whatever it is. And I think you realise that you have a lot more control over your own mind than what you think, especially when you do feel traumatised, it is a massive relief and for me it was worth going through the bonkers experience to get to where I am now which is so much better to where I was”
“As I said, I was gaslighted. In my early 20s, I went to victim support at that point, and they were absolutely useless. I’m not gonna lie. My particular people weren’t very helpful. And so I didn’t really have any therapy at all for 15 years. And I was living with this horrible experience that got me into quite a lot of difficult situations, because I didn’t address the problem. And I didn’t have anyone around me, who understood how I was feeling, who was telling me to address the problem, you know, so I was just kind of silently living with this issue. And so it really wasn’t until I was in my late 30s, that I really went and had counselling, and they said, You’ve got complex PTSD. So it was really, you know, 15 odd years later, that I addressed it. And, and that sucks. Like, that’s a long time to be living with something, you know, and that’s definitely a hard pill to swallow. But on the positive side, at least, I’ve recovered now.”
19:18
“I’ve realised that the way to switch off is literally to switch all of my technology off, to read a book, to go for a walk, to hang out with friends and to completely turn my brain away from anything work-related, which means that when I go out with my friends, we don’t talk about anything to do with music. I have to have a lot of self-discipline when it comes to that, especially when I hear a song on the radio, and I’m listening to the production and listening to the lyrics. I naturally analyse music now, as so many of us musicians do. But I have to be very, very disciplined with myself and say ‘no’, I’m just listening to that now as a consumer rather than as someone who works in the music industry.”
22.28
“I do have a grounding exercise, where you basically just, imagine that your feet are the roots of a tree. You have roots coming out of your feet, which is a bit gross when you think about it, but get that bit out of your mind. And It is shooting right down to the core of the Earth, and locking you into the core of the Earth. So you’re being physically grounded and pulled to the earth. And it’s best if you do this in bare feet, or with socks on rather than shoes. And then you just start to become very aware of everything around you. So you come out of your head and you start to look around. And ask yourself – what can you see? Can you see a person? Can you see a plant? Can you see your window? Can you see your door? a musical instrument? anything that’s around and then you start to become aware of sounds? So what can you hear? Can you hear cars? Can you hear music? Can you hear your kids in the background? You know, it’s just stuff like that- it’s becoming aware of your senses? What can you smell? And that really brings you back into the now, because it’s getting you out of your head and back into your present place. And I use that one a lot.”
“I will not engage in any kind of demanding messages from work or from anyone until I’ve got up. I’ve had my lemon water. And I’ve taken my dogs for a walk. And that’s how I protect my mental health is by giving myself that space because for so long, I’d wake up, I’d switch the phone off my alarm. And then on the iPhone or any phone probably it’s just got all the messages that you’ve received during the night. I don’t know what people are doing in the morning, but people are up super early and they’re messaging you and then you get sucked instantly into their world and they’re what they need you to do. So for me, it’s been really important to actually care for myself, care to make sure that I’ve got time in the morning for myself. So that’s one thing I live by. And I also try not to eat too late at night. And that affects my mental health as well because it means I get a better night’s sleep.”
RECOMMENDATIONS
The Motivation Manifesto: 9 Declarations to Claim Your Personal Power by Brendon Burchard
High-Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way by Brendon Burchard
ABOUT BERNI
Bernice MacDonald aka Bernii Mac is the founder of heart lead Artist mentoring agency Bernii Mac Agency and the brand new membership community/resource -Becoming The Artist, which focuses on empowering and guiding the new musical artist through the music industry authentically. Bernii is a strong advocate for mental health awareness, self-care, and personal empowerment within the music industry.
CONNECT WITH BERNI
https://www.facebook.com/BerniiMacMentoring
IG@berniimacmentoring
email [email protected]
ABOUT THE HOST
Emma Last is a qualified Mental Health and Wellbeing Trainer and Coach. She has co-written both the First Aid Industry body’s accredited First Aid for Mental Health and Wellbeing training for Adults in the workplace and those working with children.
Emma also has over 20-years, experience in leading teams and developing strategies for change. She worked in senior leadership for a large corporate until early 2018, when she came to a turning point in her career due to being on the brink of burnout and wanted to gain more of a balance in her life. She then rebooted her life and founded her company Progressive Minds.
Emma also works with workplaces and schools on their Mental Health and Wellbeing strategies and provides training and coaching to support employees through challenging and changing times. Emma also works with individuals to help them to perform at their best by working on their mental fitness, which incorporates stress/burnout prevention and resilience and agility development through her Human Reboot Movement Coaching Programme. Her clients say they have become more mentally fit, happier and gain the results they want in their lives.
Her Human Reboot podcast achieved number 22 in the Mental Health category in Mental Health Awareness week. She is a #1 best selling author on Amazon
CONNECT WITH EMMA LAST
https://thehumanrebootmovement.com
If would like to find out how you can improve your well-being and results in your business or personally book a call https://schedulingEmmaLast.as.me/30min
DISCLAIMER
The views, thoughts and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.
*As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Recent Comments